Sex & the Cigar

02/10/10 - Dear Sex & the Cigar,This is the first year that I've had a girlfriend on Valentine's Day, and I know for a fact she's expecting something special. I don't know what to do; maybe it's just because I've been single at this time of year in the past, but to me Valentine's Day is just another day. I hate that I'm expected to get her cards or chocolate or flowers or all of the above and treat her extra special just because. On the other hand, this girl is really special to me, and part of me thinks maybe I should put my crabbiness aside because I know this day, no matter how stupid I think it is, will really mean something for her. So if I'm going to do this, I don't want to be like every other guy, buying candy and flowers and all that crap. So what can I do?

- Clueless

Dear Clueless,

I can completely sympathize with your dislike for Valentine's Day. It is a commercial holiday and, in my experience, only really results in unnecessary competition among couples and guys and their friends. However commercial it may be, I think it is a great excuse for couples to take one day out of their busy lives to remind their significant other what they mean to them.

I, personally, am all for going over-the-top corny and romantic. Now I'm not suggesting you go cover the bedroom in rose petals and candles and play Marvin Gaye in the background. That's been done before way too many times and is losing its effect.

Unfortunately, since it's February and we live in New England where it's freezing, we're kind of limited as to our Valentine's Day plans. A lot of cute, outdoor plans aren't going to work.

This might not be easy or do-able if you live in a dorm but one idea would be to make her favorite meal for dinner and have an indoor picnic. Yes...I am suggesting that you eat dinner on the living room floor, one room away from a perfectly functioning kitchen table. I also would encourage you to blow up a bunch of balloons (with helium) and cover the ceiling with them.

Yup, I know it's corny but that's what I'm going for.

If your girlfriend is really into the music-scene, you could get her concert tickets to an upcoming show of her favorite band. Lupo's has a list of bands coming through April on their Web site. There's not a whole lot in the way of live music happening on Valentine's Day unless you're into the StereoFidelics, which consists of a guy and a girl who play six or more instruments at once.

If you're looking for something fun and interesting to do outside of the house, I suggest checking out projothebeat.com and see what's going on in R.I.

There are a bunch of dances going on and I know how all us college students miss high school dances...not. But, the Shriners are throwing a Sweetheart dinner and Doo Wop dance on V-day. And what could be better than a night spent dancing with old men wearing fezzes, listening to Doo Wop music? Nothing, obviously.

Except maybe lip-syncing a music video on your web cam with your significant other to Miley Cyrus music. Which, I've found, is hilarious when you very quietly walk into a room when your friend is watching said video. I think this might be the ultimate bonding experience. You know you can trust a person when you have a video of them dancing and singing teenybopper music into a pink hairbrush.

I think the more ridiculous, the better. So be creative and think of things your girl likes to do. She's not looking for the rose petals or even the picnic. She just wants you to show her you care. Sure, holding her hand and carrying her books to class is cute but it's not original. Heck, make her dinner then dance with her in the living room. When was the last time you danced with her? Senior prom? Who knows, it might make her night. And if all else fails, a can of whipped cream and dessert toppings always leads to a good time.

-Scarlet Buns

I agree with Scarlet Buns. Valentine's Day is significantly overrated. BUT, in the end, if you want a little special time with your woman, what better way to get in the mood than with some old-fashioned cheesiness?

Think slideshows of photos of the two of you, reminiscing about your days together. Rent a sappy love movie, or rent a slasher flick and bitch about the stupidity of Valentine's Day together.

Get a little slutty, and take a stroll into Victoria Secret. All I have to say is - see where it leads you.

Valentine's Day isn't just about you two, it's about relationships in general. So, if the girlfriend is OK with it, don't be afraid to hang out in groups and plan a fun activity. Heck, play a board game or throw a Wii tournament.

Whatever it is you do, make sure you do it together. This isn't about a holiday, it's about spending time with one another. If you can't be around on Valentine's Day, make sure to show her you care the other 364 days of the year. And yeah, chocolates never hurt.

-Tina FookMi

Dear Clueless,

Yes, you should put your crabbiness aside, ass. Girls - whether they admit it or not - expect something romantic on Valentine's Day.

I'll admit it. I'm a sucker for roses and chocolates, and would love nothing more than to be wined, dined and 69-ed this weekend - unfortunately, I'm flying solo this year.

But anyway...while you can't go wrong with the typical commercialized hullaballoo, I think your best bet is the element of surprise.

Ever see the Bowie episode of "Flight of the Conchords?" You know, where David Bowie tells Bret to do something outrageous?

No, I'm not suggesting you draw a lightning bolt on your wang. (But, on a similar note, the-dick-in-a-box idea might be funny.)

While at dinner, stand up in the restaurant and burst into your best rendition of her favorite love song.