Sex and the Cigar: Boring sex requires a visit to your local porn shop

09/27/07 - Dear Sex and the Cigar,So this is a bit embarrassing, but I'm sure all sex questions are. I just recently got together with my boyfriend, about a month ago. Our sex is, well, boring. I'm talking one position, one place, NOT many times. He won't admit it, and I'm too scared to say anything. And we both weren't virgins, if that's what you're thinking.

But the other day he suggested something that surprised me. We're going to go visit a sex shop, and I don't really know how I'm supposed to act. Is this a test to see if I'm bored? Or is he really trying to spice things up? What if I act too excited when I see all the stuff they have in there?

I've never been to a sex shop, but my sex life is normally more exciting than it is now. My basic question is, what is the appropriate reaction when you do stuff like this with your boyfriend? Any help would be appreciated! Oh, and another question, who is supposed to pay for everything? Are we supposed to split it down the middle? Thanks!



Sincerely,

Puzzled About Porn



Dear Puzzled About Porn,



Well first of all, your oh-so-wise resident sexpert here commends you on being open to even going to a sex shop with your boyfriend at all. My guess is that he probably senses you are disappointed with your dwindling sex life and doesn't want to come out and say it. Poor guy is probably embarrassed. So, his roundabout way of making things a bit more exciting was to suggest a visit to a sex shop, which is, in fact, a great idea if you want to spice things up a bit in the bedroom.

I'm not saying you have to go all out with whips, chains and strap-ons, but try some flavored whipped cream, some edible panties, or maybe even some sexy lingerie. That's sure to put the heat back in your relationship. For the faint of heart, there's always penis pasta.

But don't be worried about acting "too excited." That's precisely the reason you're there: to make things exciting! I'm sure he's feeling the same way about your sex life or he wouldn't have suggested it in the first place. Your man would like to see some enthusiasm both in the store and in bed.

As for payment, I say split it down the middle. You'll both be reaping the benefits!

But to be honest, if your sex life is boring after only a month of dating, you may need more than a sex shop trip. Either you like him enough to work it out or you've got to move on, girl. Life's too short for bad sex.


Yours truly,

Misty Pink