Column: Building sweet homes in Alabama

03/25/09 - We were sitting on the steps of the iconic 16th Street Baptist Church in downtown Birmingham, Ala., facing the evening sun and listening to the stories of struggles won and lost from former University of Rhode Island professor and personal friend of Martin Luther King Jr., Bernard Lafayette. This point in my trip is where I began to feel a part of something much bigger than myself.I went to Alabama with my classmates from Community Service at URI to help build houses with Habitat for Humanity. In class we learned about the working poor, poverty and various social justice issues. In Alabama, we worked and reflected on our experiences. I had no idea about how it would eventually affect my world perspective.

Lafayette spoke of his personal struggles, how and when he met and began to work with King, his organizing tactics and what qualities a successful service leader should possess. Of the many he discussed one quality meant more to me than the others.

The quality may seem corny, cliché and overly emotional but it is nonetheless the most imperative of all qualities: Love.

"And lastly," Lafayette said looking away from the sun's dying rays, either from discomfort of the light or embarrassment from what he was about to say, "it may seem a little weird but if you know me, then it won't. It's love. You've got to love the people."

He meant, love the ones you work with and also love the ones you work against.

That was the last gem Lafayette dropped on us before we left for dinner. On the ride to the restaurant I began to reflect on what he had said to us. "Love," I thought to myself. "Am I here in Alabama for love?"

The answer was no.

I was in Alabama because I was interested in learning about service leadership, traveling and getting another honors course out of the way. What I found in Alabama and what I took home with me was pure love.

Prior to leaving for Alabama, I was having second thoughts. I felt unsure of myself and of how well I would get along with my classmates. I even brought homework to do because I seriously thought I was going to want time alone to read. I was very wrong. As soon as I passed airport security I longed to be back in my bed, waiting for dawn so I could start the day with the people I already knew. I had no idea this experience would affect me so profoundly. It forced me from my comfort zone and into strange areas with unfamiliar faces.

We were in class together for nearly eight weeks before the trip. We entered the room, sat through the lecture and left. Much like any other class, we had little interest in making relationships with our classmates outside of class.

In Alabama we worked together, we solved problems together, we traveled together, we ate together, we played together, we laughed together, we fell asleep next to each other on squeaky bunk-beds with plastic mattresses and we woke up to each other every morning to do it all over again.

We split up and helped build houses for free with perfect strangers from vastly different worlds. We put vinyl siding on houses. Some of us overcame our fears of heights and stood atop ladders reaching 24 feet. Others used power tools for the very first time. We learned not just carpentry skills, but life lessons that I am sure most of us would carry in our memories for life.

We learned how to work as a team. Each night, we cooked for each other. Those who did not cook offered to clean. One group volunteered to take the responsibility of making sure we all had lunches each day. During the whole trip, there were no quarrels among us. The decisions made regarding the group were all inclusive and based on consensus. Things could not have worked out better.

At the end of the trip, I did not want to leave the new friends I made. From strangers who couldn't remember each other's names, we became best friends who would never forget each other.

At first I didn't know what Lafayette meant when he said "love." When I was in Alabama I saw love from the Habitat staff and from the families moving into the homes. I felt love from the members of our group and from all the people on the street we met and told we were here to help.

The bonds my classmates and I share can only be described as love.

Lafayette knew what he was talking about when he listed love as an important quality a service leader must possess. I noticed this because it was the love for the labor and the love for each other that made the trip so successful.

If we wish to be successful, if we wish to help others and make our world a place worth living in, we must first learn to love those who are with us and those who are against us. All of us have the ability to make positive changes and affect the lives of others. It is our choices alone that will determine the future.

"If the world doesn't benefit from you being here, it's your fault." Milton K. Barnes, a volunteer, said to me while we were laying shingles on the roof of a house. Those words were meant to affect me and inspire me to inspire others. They did. He told me immortality is being able to affect the lives of others in a positive way so they will remember you after you are gone.

I have taken much away from this trip and the experience was one that I hope others will be able to have. I want to thank President Robert L. Carothers, the Center for Ethics and Public Service, Student Affairs and the Honors Program. Without their support, this experience could not have been possible.