RI Samaritans to host forum tonight to explore coping with suicidal thoughts

02/10/10 - Suicide, a taboo topic for many, has been an issue carefully avoided for social conversation. However, according to the American Psychiatric Association, suicide has become the second leading cause of death for college-aged students. Statistically, one in four people will experience depression by the time they reach the age of 24.The Samaritans of Rhode Island, the state's only non-profit organization dedicated exclusively to suicide prevention and survivor support, is out to change this stigma. The group will be offering support to the URI campus through a forum to be held tonight at 6:30 at St. Augustine's Episcopal Church. The program is free to the public and will focus on surviving and coping with the loss of a loved one by suicide.

Leading the program is John LaCross, Barrington's police cheif. He will be discussing his own experience, reflecting on the loss of his brother who committed suicide during his senior year of college in 1979.

"Still, even on his anniversary, I am very emotional," LaCross said. "It's very tough for me to talk to my parents and brothers and stuff because it brings back that pain."

This is where the camaraderie of the forum provides support for suicide survivors.

"[Survivors] have a lot of self-doubt and there is a lot of guilt involved," Denise Panichas, interim executive director of The Samaritans, said. "If anyone has lost a loved one to suicide, they are welcome to be among those who understand."

According to LaCross, being among people in similar situations helps individuals cope with the loss of their loved ones, and the extreme emotions this brings.

With the rates of suicide and depression on the rise, it is likely that many University of Rhode Island students are dealing with depression or thoughts of suicide - or who have friends or loved ones dealing with a loss from suicide. This, combined with the unwillingness to approach such a sensitive issue, leaves many loved ones unable to express their feelings about their grief.

"You go through a whole variety of emotions and feelings. You feel angry, guilty or abandoned. You feel disbelief that the person actually did it," LaCross said.

For LaCross, sharing his personal story and creating an open dialogue among other survivors helped him recover from his brother's loss.

"You never really get over it, you get through it," LaCross said. "If it can help other people get through it, I feel like my brother's death was not in vain."

For those who have lost a loved one to suicide, Panichas suggests seeking out a support group, such as tonight's program or similar groups through The Samaritans.

Hearing the stories of others is key in opening up and beginning the healing process.

"It's a chance for people to take a step forward and start the healing process," LaCross said. "There's this heavy burden on them, but now they can speak, not only to me, but other people at the gathering. It's okay to cry and to release that pain."

Panichas also advises survivors inform their doctors about the loss. The suicide of a friend or family member can lead to depression or aggravate existing health issues, so it is important for physicians to be aware of the situation.

Friends and family of those experiencing such a loss also have difficulty knowing how to provide support in this type of situation. However, it is important that individuals set aside the uncomfortable stigmas of suicide to help survivors.

"Give the person a chance to say what they feel," Panichas said. "Acknowledge the loss by suicide, put your arms around them and listen."

The Samaritans suggests a method of support called "befriending," which Panichas describes as 90 percent listening to the survivor and 10 percent talking. Tonight's program can also be helpful to students who have friends suffering from depression or contemplating suicide.

"Some people who come, they know people who are contemplating suicide, and it might help them get the strength to help [their friends] get professional help," LaCross said.

The Samaritans also have a 24 Hour Crisis Hotline and a weekly meeting for survivors called Safe Place. For more information on this program, go to www.samaritansri.org.