2008 Woodie Awards
In defense of Valentine's Day
Caity Cudworth
Issue date: 2/12/08 Section: Entertainment
02/12/08 - People love to complain that Valentine's Day isn't a "real" holiday, that it's just a celebration of consumerism- a meaningless marketing ploy cooked up by Hallmark's shadowy greeting card empire.
Now, everybody knows that Hallmark is just a corporation of money-grubbing card-pushers who'll stop at nothing to make a buck (Secretary's Day??!) but all things considered, Valentines Day is actually pretty solid.
For one thing, like any good holiday, it's got candy. I mean, Valentine's Day is no Halloween, but you can't argue with assorted chocolates.
Anyone who's celebrated the holiday knows that one of the greatest joys of Valentine's Day is the joy that comes from eating cheap, waxy chocolate out of a heart-shaped box. And lets not forget conversation hearts, the candy that always makes you feel better about yourself (U R HOT). Plus, they're chalk full of chock-flavored deliciousness.
Valentine's Day is really no more commercial than Christmas or Easter. The only difference is that Christmas and Easter have a little bit of Jesus thrown into the mix.
And Jesus is awesome and all, but how many holidays does He really need? Every holiday can't be about Him. Share the wealth, buddy, let 'ol St. Valentine get in on the action.
When it comes down to it, every major holiday capitalizes on our desire to buy festive, unnecessary crap. Not just Valentine's Day. Take those weird singing stuffed animals for instance. In terms of holiday swag, I don't think a rapping frog wearing a Santa hat is any better than a boxer-clad gorilla grooving along to Barry White.
Sure, all lonely lovelorn souls out there gripe about the gross PDA and sickly sweet décor and mind-numbing sweetness of it all. But it's not like the holiday exists solely to remind you of the fact that you're single.
I mean, chances are, you're probably not unlovable. Unless you're an axe-murderer who spends his time torturing newborn kittens, picking at scabs, and collecting jars of toenail clippings, there's an 85 percent chance that at least a couple people care about you.
Now, everybody knows that Hallmark is just a corporation of money-grubbing card-pushers who'll stop at nothing to make a buck (Secretary's Day??!) but all things considered, Valentines Day is actually pretty solid.
For one thing, like any good holiday, it's got candy. I mean, Valentine's Day is no Halloween, but you can't argue with assorted chocolates.
Anyone who's celebrated the holiday knows that one of the greatest joys of Valentine's Day is the joy that comes from eating cheap, waxy chocolate out of a heart-shaped box. And lets not forget conversation hearts, the candy that always makes you feel better about yourself (U R HOT). Plus, they're chalk full of chock-flavored deliciousness.
Valentine's Day is really no more commercial than Christmas or Easter. The only difference is that Christmas and Easter have a little bit of Jesus thrown into the mix.
And Jesus is awesome and all, but how many holidays does He really need? Every holiday can't be about Him. Share the wealth, buddy, let 'ol St. Valentine get in on the action.
When it comes down to it, every major holiday capitalizes on our desire to buy festive, unnecessary crap. Not just Valentine's Day. Take those weird singing stuffed animals for instance. In terms of holiday swag, I don't think a rapping frog wearing a Santa hat is any better than a boxer-clad gorilla grooving along to Barry White.
Sure, all lonely lovelorn souls out there gripe about the gross PDA and sickly sweet décor and mind-numbing sweetness of it all. But it's not like the holiday exists solely to remind you of the fact that you're single.
I mean, chances are, you're probably not unlovable. Unless you're an axe-murderer who spends his time torturing newborn kittens, picking at scabs, and collecting jars of toenail clippings, there's an 85 percent chance that at least a couple people care about you.