2008 Woodie Awards
Sex and the Cigar
'The Non-Existent Ex'
Daisy Sweet
Issue date: 11/2/07 Section: Editorial/Opinion
- Page 1 of 1
11/02/07 - "My ex-boyfriend and I had a long term, full involvement, head over heels kind of relationship. It unfortunately ended but since then we've had several periods where we saw each other for a few weeks dating casually but the main event was the amazing sex. We've been going at it again but I don't think I can do it anymore. I find myself falling for him all over again. He's not looking for a relationship now, but I don't want him to exit my life entirely. What do I do?"
Even the dinosaurs haven't technically become extinct -at least their far off cousins like lizards and other reptilians still roam the planet today. The same can be said for your relationship. It's evolved into something over time, and it looks like you aren't happy with it. Now, sex is one part of a relationship, but your emotions are the larger chunk. Maybe that's the reason the sex is so great, because you are still emotionally involved.
Your feelings for your partner can actually turn your paper-pushing lover with pencil attached into a modern day Ron Jeremy. That can be a great thing. Those same emotions can be your worst enemy though if he isn't reciprocating.
You can wait, maybe this time around he'll see the light but you have to realize you've given him the perfect situation. Sex as he pleases, come and go as he likes with the added bonus that he can look at and touch whatever he wants. He is under no contractual obligation to you. If you can live with that, then by all means go for it. Just keep in mind that perhaps one night he isn't going to be looking to you in order to fill his hormonal needs. Some blonde who's three years your minor with half a brain may catch his eye at the next party where his decisions are being heavily influenced by Pabst Blue Ribbon and Popov.
If you think you're strong enough to walk away and you might find you are stronger than you think, don't do so without letting him know how you feel. Trust me, you wouldn't want to live with the regret of not knowing what could have been.
Perhaps he thought sex was all you wanted, or perhaps he found you indifferent. Men have emotions too, though they may rarely admit to it. He might just be afraid of getting hurt again - perhaps he still does. But don't walk away without a fight.
Ultimately you have to do what is right for you - but don't force something that is too far dead and buried. Remember what my old pal Will S. said, "It is better to have loved and lost, than to never have loved at all."
Even the dinosaurs haven't technically become extinct -at least their far off cousins like lizards and other reptilians still roam the planet today. The same can be said for your relationship. It's evolved into something over time, and it looks like you aren't happy with it. Now, sex is one part of a relationship, but your emotions are the larger chunk. Maybe that's the reason the sex is so great, because you are still emotionally involved.
Your feelings for your partner can actually turn your paper-pushing lover with pencil attached into a modern day Ron Jeremy. That can be a great thing. Those same emotions can be your worst enemy though if he isn't reciprocating.
You can wait, maybe this time around he'll see the light but you have to realize you've given him the perfect situation. Sex as he pleases, come and go as he likes with the added bonus that he can look at and touch whatever he wants. He is under no contractual obligation to you. If you can live with that, then by all means go for it. Just keep in mind that perhaps one night he isn't going to be looking to you in order to fill his hormonal needs. Some blonde who's three years your minor with half a brain may catch his eye at the next party where his decisions are being heavily influenced by Pabst Blue Ribbon and Popov.
If you think you're strong enough to walk away and you might find you are stronger than you think, don't do so without letting him know how you feel. Trust me, you wouldn't want to live with the regret of not knowing what could have been.
Perhaps he thought sex was all you wanted, or perhaps he found you indifferent. Men have emotions too, though they may rarely admit to it. He might just be afraid of getting hurt again - perhaps he still does. But don't walk away without a fight.
Ultimately you have to do what is right for you - but don't force something that is too far dead and buried. Remember what my old pal Will S. said, "It is better to have loved and lost, than to never have loved at all."