Top five sitcoms, reality shows destined for TV's graveyard

10/16/08 - Sometimes TV shows get cancelled- it's just a fact of life, guys. Here are a few shows whose time has come and gone. They will probably not be missed."Hogan Knows Best"

After four seasons, Hulk Hogan's wife divorced him, his 17 year-old son ended up going to jail for drunken driving, and his daughter is still under the sad, sad delusion that she has a music career. You really have to question whether Hogan ever, in fact, knew best.

I guess the moral here is that being a professional wrestler doesn't qualify you to have your own show about parenting. Just because you wear spandex pants and break plywood over people's heads for a living doesn't mean you can keep your wife from taking you to court or your kid from getting a DUI. If anything it just makes these things more likely to happen.

"Seventh Heaven"

This show has the dubious distinction of being quite possibly one of the lamest shows ever created. Though occasionally one of the characters would get all rebellious and smoke a cigarette or invite a homeless, pregnant runaway to stay in the attic, for the most part the characters on this show were hollow shells of bland wholesomeness. Even the dog was kind of lame.

True, Simon went through an angsty phase where he wore a leather jacket (leather outerwear is, of course, TV shorthand for inner angst) and, in an incredible display of recklessness, he even experimented with alcohol. It seemed he was heading down a pretty destructive path, (Beer! Leather!) but fortunately, Reverend Camden was there to give Simon a good talking-to, thus saving him from a life of crippling alcoholism, crushed dreams and liver disease.

.Not to mention all the kickass partying, relaxed social interaction, and fun that would've come with it.

"The OC"

It pains me to list this show, because the first two seasons offered up solid teen drama balanced by a respectable amount of wit and intelligent dialogue.

But by the last two seasons, the show had gotten kind of ridiculous. It was like the writers were cribbing from daytime soaps. And nothing against "Passions," but "The OC" shouldn't have lowered itself to that level.

Drug overdoses, unplanned pregnancies and money laundering are all well and good, but when a show gets so convoluted that you forget which characters have killed someone, attempted to kill someone, had an affair with someone's mom, or suddenly decided to become gay, it gets confusing.

There's a reason why daytime soaps are on during the day: Because the majority of TV viewers don't really want to watch some dude named "Eduardo" come back from the dead three times and then accidentally have an affair with his cousin, who's actually a pre-op transvestite.

If you're just looking for something to fill the interminable gap between "The Price is Right" and "Oprah," then that probably doesn't bother you. But "The OC" should have known that primetime is a different deal. The expectations are slightly higher when you're competing against shows other than "Judge Joe Brown" and "Blue's Clues."

"Punk'd"

"Punk'd" was pretty funny for a while, (seeing Ashlee Simpson cry is the right of anyone who's suffered the unfortunate burden of hearing her music) but eventually the jokes got kind of stale. Also eventually, everyone realized that Ashton Kutcher was kind of obnoxious (and not really all that much better than the other celebrities he was setting up).

"Queer Eye for the Straight Guy"

The premise of this show was fairly simple: straight guys can't dress themselves and need the kind of guidance that only a team of snappy gay men can provide. Sure the "straight guy" in question might be unemployed or have recently gotten dumped by his fiancé, but that's nothing highlights, modern home furnishings and a sassy cashmere cardigan can't fix.

Incidentally, no one seemed that sad when this show got cancelled.