Super Bowl, 'Death Wish 3': match made in TV heaven

02/04/09 - While Super Bowl Sunday is a momentous event in American pop culture, this year just didn't feel all that right. I simply went through the progressions: Super Bowl party, eating chili and having an ice cold one, but it just wasn't the same.It's not to say the actual game wasn't entertaining or that some commercials didn't make me laugh, but with a growing lack of interest, the game just didn't feel the way it was supposed to. To be honest, I didn't watch the whole thing this year and to me, that's just fine.

But a short time after Santonio Holmes and the Pittsburgh Steelers won their record-setting sixth Super Bowl championship, Charles Bronson by himself, led a city from the ruins of anarchy to some sense of stability.

After channel surfing and landing on American Movie Classics, "Death Wish 3" popped up. Bronson, a legend in action flicks, reprised his role from the original "Death Wish" as a no-holds-barred vigilante with an eye for crime.

Bronson moves into a new city where the streets swarm with gangs while citizens are permanently at their mercy. A dwindling police force exists, but its effectiveness is comical and Bronson soon becomes a one-man wrecking crew.

"Death Wish 3" doesn't have the most compelling script, and if it were to be released in today's movie world, it would probably be considered an absolute joke. To be more accurate, the city in "Death Wish 3" is comparable to Liberty City from the popular video game series Grand Theft Auto.

The main gang in the movie was depicted as crazed groups of men that wore face paint and hung out in dark underground alleys while gathering around hobo fires. They had mohawks, ripped denim, and some even had awkward looking belly shirts- obviously the ultimate look of a badass.

The gang's leader wasn't a powerful man in a suit or a 'roided up beast of doom, but was more of a manlier, testosterone-laden Brigitte Nielson. To be led by Ivan Drago's wife from "Rocky IV" and Flavor Flave's one time love is a definite plus for any group of thugs.

And obviously, to be true to any action movie from the mid-'80s, only one man can be in charge of taking down an army. But of course, in a movie or in reality, a gang of more than a hundred men is no match for a Charles Bronson armed with just a handgun. So watch out Chuck Norris, Charles Bronson could probably take you.

Also, buildings blew up in over-the-top explosions that seemed more appropriate for an oil tanker. At the same time, a car simply crashing into the side of another prompted both to explode into a collective fireball much like the storied Ford Pinto.

Finally, in no proper movie should Charles Bronson be able to kill the main antagonist easily and conveniently.

Instead, in "Death Wish 3," the Brigitte Nielson look-alike is shot at with a rocket-propelled grenade that vaulted him through a wall into the air, which resulted in him landing on the ground leaving his corpse as a burning pile of ash.

Once the gang's head honcho is dead and burning on the ground, each gang member immediately surrenders and stops fighting, which of course, accurately mirrors reality. Charles Bronson finishes business and leaves town, knowing that he's leaving the city a better place from when he arrived.

In a way, isn't that what the Super Bowl's about? Taking part in a gritty battle, being overly excessive and taking no prisoners? Yeah, that sounds about right. So with that, here's to the Super Bowl, good chili, a cold beer and Charles Bronson.