'Kid Nation' teaches kids the value of a hard day's work

10/11/07 - Child labor is against the law now, but in the golden days of the Industrial Revolution children spent their days productively, operating heavy machinery with their small, nimble hands. Those adorable scamps toiled from dawn to dusk in mines and factories. And whatever they lost in terms of limbs, they gained back in the solid sense of work ethic that came from their efforts.

Really, Black Lung, third degree burns and the emotionally crippling loss of childhood are a small price to pay for the satisfaction that comes from a hard day's work.

The youth of today, however, are lazy. Where youngsters once made themselves useful by crawling into small places in order to fix giant looms and clean chimneys and such, they now spend their time playing in the streets and attending institutions for lazy children known as "schools."

But does coddling our children with "education" really teach them the same hard truths as losing a hand?

No. No, it does not.

Hands were a luxury for kids back in the 19th century.and kids today act is if they're a god-given right.

But I'm delighted to say that children are once again putting their adorable noses to the grindstone. CBS' new show, "Kid Nation," proves that cooking, hauling heavy buckets of water, and washing clothing by hand does more than build character: it makes good television!

The premise of the show is that a group of kids must build their own society and be "pioneers." Now, if this show were about adults, it would be just another Survivor rip-off, where contestants vie for prizes, shit outside, and spend their time doing backbreaking labor.

But with kids, it's genius! In one episode the kids have to complete a challenge in order to win a prize. One prize is a 45-foot waterslide. The other? Water pumps that don't freeze!

These 8-15 year olds can either fulfill their wildest dreams by having a gigantic amusement park waterslide. or they can have a reliable water source. It's a difficult choice between fun and comfortable survival.

Unfortunately, they don't complete the challenge so they get neither. Have fun hauling water from those frozen pipes, kids!

Another feature of this show is that they have a class-hierarchy set in place based upon who wins the most challenges. The lowest rung of society is the "Laborers" they do all the jobs that no one else wants to do. And, at 10 cents an hour, they're basically earning Sri Lankan sweatshop wages.

Above them are the "Cooks" who, as their name suggests, do all of the cooking. Above the Cooks is the "Merchant" class, and, at the top of the heap is the "Upper Class," which does nothing.

Way to teach kids that the only way society can function is if it's ordered by a rigid class system, CBS!

But it's not all misery and hard work for these little pioneers. At the end of a long day of crushing labor, they can mosey into a "saloon" that serves root beer and drown their sorrows. Cute!

"Kid Nation" is sort of like summer-camp meets labor camp, which is actually a good marketing strategy. If child labor came up with a snazzy advertising campaign, perhaps called "Labor Kampz for Kidz." (note the youth-friendly, z-spelling) child labor could be all the rage once more.

Watch "Kid Nation," Wednesdays at 8:30 on CBS: Backbreaking labor, low wages, and class tensions have never been so adorable!