CD Review: Dream puts listeners to sleep ZzZ

03/08/07 - Keller Williams is a one-man jam band from Fredericksburg, Va., whose latest album, Dream, was released in February 2007. Dream is a 16-track collaboration album that is bound to get you toe-tapping to the instrumental rhythms, but Williams inevitably mind-numbs you with his bland lyrics.

Dream opens with "Play This," which ironically enough, leads me to the opposite reaction.

I tried being open-minded, but when you have lyrics like "pierce your ass I don't care," or "throw some fuzz on it / something inside of me / secretly likes all of the / audible abuse," it all becomes clear that you shouldn't expect what little the instrumental jam sessions offer.

The third track, "Cadillac," brings you back to the good ol' days of barking coon dogs and guitar strumming on your front porch. There are various references to Jesus, and Buddhist and Hindu gods, who are apparently riding along with him in his badass car.

While "Ninja of Love" provides smooth guitar and percussion reggae jams, it radiates semi-lame lyrics that illustrate a creepy stalker mentality. Williams sings, " I can silently sneak through your halls (I'm a ninja) / With great ease I can scale your walls (ninja) / I can leap up from the ground to the middle of your tree (I'm a ninja)."

But wait, it's not so creepy! At the conclusion of the song Williams shows us that the love stalker can be caring and compassionate by saying he'll protect your heart. Aw...

Well aside from what Dream covers, it falls into the category of music you'd listen to while being stoned. So my advice is to throw on a few tracks of Williams' material and then go smoke a bong (for tobacco use, of course), and maybe then you won't notice the slacking lyric quality. Maybe that's his inspiration?

"Kiwi and the Apricot," yes that's the title, shells out half-cadenced lyrics throughout the bridge with as little as one to three words per line. It gives you the dreadful impression that this song will last forever and evokes similar feelings of sitting in class. Captivating. You wonder when or if the song actually includes some point of climax.

Track six is "People Watchin'," which is only groovy because we all end up doing that at some point, and the banjo is a pretty fun sounding instrument.

If you're still with Williams by the 10th track, "Restraint," you might be in for a ride so to speak, and a sexual one at that. Compared to the sexual grind-inducing powers of rap, Williams provides a slow, emo-edged attitude about jumping someone's bones.

Apparently after all the work of smoking an L and riding with the Big Guy in the bitch seat, Williams wanted to share just how horny all of that has made him. Fair enough, kind of...

There are four actual jam session tracks featured on the tail end of Dream.

"Cookies" is a mix that Williams co-composed with Fareed Haque; "Twinkle" consists of strong bass influences, resulting from a dream and inspirations like John Molo and Steve Kimock; "Lil' Sexy Blues" seems a little on the summery side; and "Bendix/dance Hippie" are simple jams that Williams recorded live with his then 17-month old daughter, Ella, rocking the lyrics.

This song is endearing I suppose, and if you like baby babble, it's a smashing jam with a tinge of Barney. "Won't you say you love me to?"

In the end, along with Williams' prior 10 albums, all of which I can only assume contain the same smoking (cough) stylings of Dream, I don't have much faith in Williams' future albums.

If your mind, as it may, happens to start wandering, pick up the album case. If you swoosh it fast enough, the bleeding array of colors will create an illusion that corresponds to the album's title quite swimmingly.

Lastly, if you happen to be an insomniac, you might want to check Keller Williams' Dream. It might possibly be a medical breakthrough. Props for being ahead of the game, Keller.