The Red Pill: God is not against sex

10/16/03 - Oh no. The Christians are going to talk about sex. Everyone put on your prayer shawls, button your collars and don't forget the iron chastity belts. Here we go!The big myth is that Christianity is anti-sex. Sex is not to be enjoyed. Sex is a volatile, dirty thing and the only reason two people ever consider hooking up is to make more little Christians who will undoubtedly grow up taught to be as sexually repressed as their parents.

Okay, no. God is not against sex. He created us, He created our natures, and by extension, He created passion. The one caveat to sex is to have it inside the bounds of marriage, but that rule was not made to stop people from having a good time.

So why the wait? What's the big deal? Aside from spiritual issues, there are emotional and practical reasons to put off having sex. Besides, deciding to stay a virgin until your wedding night doesn't mean having no fun until then. It makes you part of a rare breed, but there's nothing wrong with that.

There are the major potential problems that come along with sex. Risks abound in and out of marriage. Condoms can break. Pills can fail. Sex can lead to potentially fatal consequences such as disease or, almost as scary, an unwanted baby. These problems are daunting even to the most secure couples, let alone a college relationship where the mentality may be more casual.

Christianity does not forbid premarital sex because of the physical action that sex is, but because sex is so much more than just a physical action. If sex were just physical, such as brushing one's teeth or making the bed, sex would not be special. It would be an action, a chore. It is the deep emotional and spiritual connections fostered that makes sex such a powerful thing.

Medical research suggests having sex releases a chemical in our brains called Oxytocin. Conversely, Oxytocin is the same chemical that bonds a mother to her child during breastfeeding. This is one of the reasons it is often hard to wean babies off breastmilk. Studies show that during sex both partners' brains release this chemical, aiding in the creation of deep emotional bonds. In theory, to stop having sex with someone requires a weaning process. The chemical is also released in lesser amounts when couples spend intimate, non-sexual time together.

Even without medical evidence, anyone who has ever spent any time with their boyfriend or girlfriend knows how precious that time is, providing the relationship is going well. The more time you spend with a person, the deeper that emotional bond grows between the two of you. Sex is the height of bonding. The Bible describes sex as two people becoming one, and once that bond is made, breaking it can be traumatic.

Everyone has experienced heartbreak. Everyone knows what loss is. It's hard enough to break up with someone you love when sex isn't in the equation, when you haven't given yourself to that person. When people who have had sex do break up, they are not just losing that person but a part of themselves leaves with them.

Sex is a beautiful thing, but it is a gift intended for one person only: the person you are married to. Statistics show couples who live together or have sex before marriage are more likely to divorce- or never make it down the aisle at all. Being romantic doesn't have to mean having sex. Abstaining is difficult, but the end result is worth it.