Reader criticizes political debate

10/31/08 - To the Cigar,

Because my brother in arms and blood has addressed the crux of last Thursday's debate-the worth of which can be measured in weights made out of nothingness-I have instead decided to cut straight to the chase and thrash the bejeezus out of the College Democrats for fun and sport.

I doubt it'll make a difference in the election at this point- definitely not on this campus anyway- but this sort of criticism induces a sort of euphoria that doodling on the desks during Engineering Design can't begin to replicate. That, and the comments were so blatantly wrong it would be a horrible sin to just let them go. The first glaring mistake that jumped off the stage, ran to my seat and pummeled me in the face was the idea that, as the pool of customers grows, insurance premiums will go down.

This is stupid; I'm but a lowly engineer in the middle of his economics requirement, but even I know that insurance companies have no reason to lower their rates if more customers show up minus the competition.

Do you really think that a flock of sparrows is going to eat any less seed if more feeders suddenly show up? If anything, they'll get so fat off the new eats, they'll hardly be able to fly (unless it's to a multi-hundred-thousand dollar spa). People are saying that greed brought on this economic crisis we're experiencing-it didn't, but that's another story-but it's apparently called "self-interest," for one thing, and for another, it has always been and always will be the driving force behind every successful economy.

The insurance companies could probably do well enough if they lowered their prices at an influx of new buyers, but why do just "well" when you could do "awesome?" A couple other fun facts that the Democrats were kind enough to throw our way was that the United States is the leading producer of carbon emissions in the world, and that Obama supports gay marriage.

Ladies and gentlemen, some things are obvious, some things follow you around, begging to be noticed and some things just get right up and mug you to get your attention. Obama's true stance on gay rights is a mugger, and if you go to www.ontheissues.org, you will be robbed absolutely blind, and left for dead in a dark alley, like me. He supports civil unions, just like everyone else, but not marriage for gays.

As for carbon emissions, National Geographic reports that not only is China now the leading producer of carbon dioxide, but its CO2 output may completely nullify the reductions due to the Kyoto Protocol. And we just legitimized and furthered it all by having the Olympics there; why don't we give the dog a biscuit for flushing his bowels all over the carpet?

After we're done with that, we can go pet the rottweiler for nuking the dachshund next door, without preconditions, of course.

So, is Joseph Biden ready to take on the presidency, should anything happen to our beloved Obama? Yes, he's ready on day one. Actually, we already knew that: Biden's already tried twice to become president, and he's twice over a dropout, most recently this past January. Not to mention he doesn't think Obama's ready to be president. Now, why would you agree to follow someone you think is inferior? Is Biden a failure AND an ignoramus?

Perhaps, but I think he's more of a political remora. No one cares about him, so he's attached himself to the biggest fish in the Democrat tank, hoping to swim all the way to the White House. Shame he can't make it there under his own steam. Well, perhaps not.

Anyway, even among those gems and the random "we're all one," world peace tripe that somehow weaseled its nonsensical way into the debate, the event was unfortunately as enlightening as having my head beaten in with the stupid stick.

In fact, I think the only thing I learned was that Obama is against gay marriage, which I only found out because I went home and looked it up.

And that's a method that College Democrats President, Ryan Drugan, wholeheartedly endorses.



Joe LiVolsi