09/29/09 - Much of my previous perception of police enforcement, admittedly, came from a strange amalgamation of reality television shows and gritty dramas. As a result, I've created a strange, exaggerated stereotype of imaginary dark alleyways and drug deals, citizens resisting arrest and befuddled cops being duped by criminals. After spending a night in the front seat of a campus police car last Thursday, however, I discovered the duty of the University of Rhode Island police is a little less "NYPD Blue" and a little more "Reno 911!"
Officer Thomas Kent and I spent the night working the second shift - 10 p.m. until 2 a.m.
We started the evening by checking out a fraternity party, not quite in full swing, where a group of early girls mingled with lei-draped guys. Loud music pulsated throughout the still empty rooms and one couple danced provocatively in the corner, grinding against a smirking tiki wall hanging.
The majority of our night, however, was spent patrolling - driving around every dark corner of campus to see if anything questionable was going on.
Bright side-lights and a far-reaching front lights lit the way as our car, equipped with air horns and sirens, made its way around campus. The controls, which reside on a console in between the front seats, are labeled with buttons reading "wail," "yelp" and "air horn," like a professional version of the game Bop-It.
Usually, Kent said, the presence of the car and the aforementioned sirens are enough to keep students in check. However, intervention is often necessary - especially with freshmen.
"This [year's class] is more of a partier than others," Kent said.
Most of the trouble occurs in the beginning of the week during first semester, when the majority of students are back on campus from visits home.
"Once the third week hits, the freshmen realize how behind they are, and where the library is, " Kent said.
The first weeks of school are also the most tumultuous for young couples in relationships. The police are often called in to handle messy break-ups, where the jilted soon-to-be-ex comes back on campus to try and win over a reluctant boyfriend or girlfriend.
Kent responded to a call at Wiley Hall, where a boyfriend who lived off campus was arguing with his girlfriend. The boyfriend, short, skinny and messy-haired, looked shaken as he was escorted out of the dormitory by police.
Having campus police present is usually enough to deflate a tense situation, Kent said. However, if the situation involves domestic violence, an arrest is immediate.
The most student infractions, though, are due to alcohol consumption, Kent explained.
Thursday night lived up to its notorious reputation, as Kent got two separate alcoholrelated calls.
The first came from Weldin Hall, where an ambulance was needed to take a girl suffering from alcohol poisoning to the hospital.
The freshman had been drinking with friends after not eating and taking antibiotic medication. Nine shots into the night, her friends had left her completely inebriated and under the watch of her roommates.
When Kent and I arrived, campus EMS was already trying to determine her vitals and contact information as she threw up in a nearby toilet. As EMS volunteers strapped her to a gurney, other residents walked past, toothbrushes in hand, with their necks craned to check out the action.
As she was wheeled down the corridor, the young woman threw up on her already dirty, grey dress, in addition to the volunteers who were assisting her.
Later in the evening, an off campus visitor from Connecticut was pulled over for driving under the influence. The underage man, decked out in bedazzled Ed Hardy apparel, sat dejectedly on the curb while police set up the portable breathalyzer. Had he been a few years older, he would have scraped by with his 0.078, but that night he had to call a friend for a sober ride home.
"We don't want to have kids come out of college with a record," Kent said. "We want them to come out of it alive."
Later, the night took a less serious turn when a group of freshmen men at Barlow circle reported a more rural version of a drive-by.
A car reportedly drove by, throwing husks of corn at the group, then drove away. Corn husks, some of which had been ground into the pavement by cars driving by, remained at the scene. The corn throwers struck once more that evening, at the Flagg Road parking lot, but the campus police's investigation yielded no results.
Kent could recall some similar humorous instances during his six-year run at URI.
People often drive along with sling-shots flinging b.b. gun pellets and eggs at passing police cars.
He also remembered one notable out-of-state student speeding around campus. After she ran a stop sign, Kent pulled her over. Her excuse for failing to stop was that she was originally from Connecticut, and did not realize that the same traffic rules applied in Rhode Island.
Recently, Kent said, a drunk and disorderly visitor was escorted off campus. The man attempted to resist arrest by claiming he had the Swine Flu and then spat in the officer's face. Luckily, after being tested, the officer was flu free.
Toward the end of the night, more students roamed around campus after making their way back from parties down the line.
Kent anticipated the night would pick up for the police department as things "spilled over" from parties in Narragansett.
At the end of our shift, I was dropped off back home-the one and only time I hope to exit from a cop car-and reflected on my night with URI's finest.
My ride-along with the campus police definitely had the makings of a television sitcom-the corn throwing vandals, the sloppy alcohol-related shenanigans that a viewer would sit back and laugh at.

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